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Dad Is Fat, by Jim Gaffigan
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In Dad is Fat, stand-up comedian Jim Gaffigan, who’s best known for his legendary riffs on Hot Pockets, bacon, manatees, and McDonald's, expresses all the joys and horrors of life with five young children—everything from cousins ("celebrities for little kids") to toddlers’ communication skills (“they always sound like they have traveled by horseback for hours to deliver important news”), to the eating habits of four year olds (“there is no difference between a four year old eating a taco and throwing a taco on the floor”). Reminiscent of Bill Cosby’s Fatherhood, Dad is Fat is sharply observed, explosively funny, and a cry for help from a man who has realized he and his wife are outnumbered in their own home.
- Sales Rank: #28237 in eBooks
- Published on: 2013-05-07
- Released on: 2013-05-07
- Format: Kindle eBook
About the Author
JIM GAFFIGAN is a stand-up comedian and actor with numerous film, television, and stage credits. He lives in Manhattan with his wife, Jeannie, and their five children in a two-bedroom apartment.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
Letter to My Children
Dear Children,
I am your dad. The father of all five of you pale creatures. Given how attractive and fertile your mother is, there may be more of you by the time you read this book. If you are reading this, I am probably dead. I would assume this because I can honestly foresee no other situation where you’d be interested in anything I’ve done. Right now, you are actually more interested in preventing me from doing things like working, sleeping, and smiling. I’m kidding, of course. Kind of. I love you with all of my heart, but you are probably the reason I’m dead.
All right, you didn’t kill me. Your mother did. She kept getting pregnant! I don’t know how. Don’t think about it. It will give you the willies. At one point, I was afraid she got pregnant while she was pregnant. She was so fertile I didn’t even let her hold avocados. Anyway, this is a book all about what I observed being your dad when you were very young and I had some hair back in good old 2013.
So why a book? Well, since you’ve come into my life, you’ve been a constant source of entertainment while simultaneously driving me insane. I felt I had to write down my observations about you in a book. And also for money, so you could eat and continue to break things. By the way, I’m sorry I yelled so much and did that loud clapping thing with my hands. I hated when my dad would do the loud clapping thing with his hands, so every time I do the loud clapping thing, it pains me in many ways. Most of the pain is because that loud clapping thing actually hurts my hands.
You may be wondering how I wrote this book. From a very early age, you all instinctively knew I wasn’t that bright of a guy. Probably from all the times you had to correct me when I couldn’t read all the words in The Cat in the Hat. Hell, I find writing e‑mails a chore. (Thank you, spell-check!) I wrote this book with the help of many people, but mostly your mother. Your mother is not only the only woman I’ve ever loved, but also the funniest person I know. When your mom was not in labor yelling at me, she made me laugh so hard.
Love,
Dad
P.S. How did you get that hula hoop into that restaurant Easter 2011?
From the Hardcover edition.
Most helpful customer reviews
144 of 150 people found the following review helpful.
Hilarious and insightful
By Ashley
This book is smart, insightful, sweet, and so SO funny!! I mean stomach hurting, crying because I'm laughing so hard funny. And not just in some chapters, constantly throughout the whole thing. If you're a fan of Gaffigan's you'll recognize some of his jokes in here, but not an annoying, overwhelming amount. I am a big fan of his and I have 4 small children, so I think I'm basically the absolute perfect audience for this book. It was so funny because it was true and so incredibly relatable for me. Does that mean if you don't have a lot of children or any children that you won't enjoy it? Definitely not, if you enjoy Jim's style I think you'll find this amusing too. I highly recommend it! In fact I've been recommending it to everyone I know since I started reading it earlier today. Yes, I read the whole thing in less than a whole day. With four kids. (Don't worry, the children were cared for...the laundry may have been neglected, but....) ;-) So yeah, I'd say it's a pretty engaging, enjoyable read. :)
66 of 74 people found the following review helpful.
Love the Audiobook!
By Shank
This book is hilarious and Jim Gaffigan does an excellent job narrating the audiobook! I wondered beforehand if his talents as a stand-up would translate into book form, and I think they do! Contrary to other reviewers, I think this book can enjoyable for everyone, whether you have children or not. If you've ever worked with children or have memories of being a child, these stories will entertain you!
52 of 59 people found the following review helpful.
Hilarious
By Jonah Aaron West
This book is probably the best best book I've ever read. I'm not sure if that's a comment on how good the book is or how poor my choice in reading material is. I don't even have kids and I think this is funny. Gaffigan delivers a delightfully observant and witty book.
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